Tag Archive for feminism

Rape Culture Part 1 – Infantalizing Women

Trigger Warning for discussion of rape, rape fantasies, consensual non-consent, and BDSM. This is a 6 part series that will be updated weekly, focusing on rape culture, rape fantasies, and consent.

I joined a group on FetLife that was dedicated to rape fantasies. My goal was to explore how to reconcile having rape fantasies, and writing rape erotica with my belief that upholding a rape culture is negative to society.

I’m going to be looking at the types of responses, and what I think on them, in parts.

Part 1 – Infantalizing Women

Underneath a lot of the replies was skepticism of feminism, and of the term ‘Rape Culture’. They brought up many things that I agree with — that the idea of continual consent puts the onus on the man to ‘take care’ of his female partner in case she changes her mind and doesn’t inform him. That relying on body language for consent, even if she says yes, is tricky at best, and impossible at worst.

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Interdependence

I have been sick this week and unable to blog, but I found this post on strong female characters and interdependence that said a lot of the things I wanted to say in such an elegant manner.

What I look for in strong female characters when I evaluate their relationship to other people is interdependence. There is no shame in relying on other people sometimes, on needing their emotional, physical, or other support, just as there is no shame in offering that support to the people around you when they need your help. Look at Veronica Mars, for example; there are scenes where Logan helps her when she’s in a jam, but conversely, she’s also the one helping him when he’s falsely accused of murder and he’s trying to exonerate himself. The two characters enjoy an intimate connection and an interdependent one as they help each other navigate the world, and it’s a more more equitable balance than one where Logan always saves the day or Veronica never shows vulnerability.

Another thing I loved about Veronica Mars was that she had relationships of all different types. She had male and female friendships, she had a loving and supportive relationship with her father. She was a wonderful role model, and I’m still upset they cancelled the show.

A Case for Anonymity Online

There is value in the anonymity of the internet.

Even though some people use and abuse it for ill, there are still so many of us that require that anonymity in order to feel comfortable online. This can range from trying to avoid unwanted attention, to being able to express opinions that we otherwise wouldn’t or couldn’t.

In an age when employers are asking job applicants for their FaceBook passwords and a woman is insulted in newspapers based on their tweets for asking a simple question at a debate, there is actually a very high need for anonymity.

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Mad Men, Joan, and The Rape

-Trigger warning about rape and domestic violence. Spoiler warning up to Season 5, Episode 3 of Mad Men-

Joan left her husband, Greg, in Mad Men. She informed him that he is not a good person, and that he wasn’t a good person even before his most recent action and “you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And as a viewer? Yes, yes we did. We watched, horrified and disgusted while he raped her. And it was, undoubtedly, rape. Even though they were in a relationship. Even though she later married him. Even though she was dressed like she ‘wanted’ to be raped, as a charming fellow put it in season 4. Even though she had a history of sexual promiscuity. Even though she at times used her sexuality to get her way.

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Anastasia Steele – Mary Sue

Anastasia Steele is a much talked about character. She is the lead female protagonist of the popular 50 Shades of Grey, and people absolutely love calling her a Mary Sue.

You might not like her, or understand what Christian Grey sees in her, or feels that something in 50 Shades of Grey wasn’t really what you wanted it to be. You might find it hard to empathize or sympathize with her, or that her story is hard to believe. But none of that makes Anastasia Steele a Mary Sue.

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Problems with Feminist Labels

There’s a lot of splintering in feminist groups. Feminist seems like a bad word, even to women and men who want equal rights and equal pay for the genders. Even to those that agree there is a patriarchy and that we should work to dismantle it. Even to those who agree that the way we treat each other, and our daughters, and our sons, is shameful.

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Femininity

It’s no hidden truth that certain things in our world are gendered. Barbie dolls are for girls. Big trucks are for boys. Dresses are for girls. Blue is for boys. Pink is for girls.

These are not universal truths, and have not always been truths, of course. Not long ago, men wore tights and dressed their boys in pink and let them have curly hair. Now we wonder what doing something like that will do to our children’s self esteem and several schools have banned male students from having long hair, dressing in a feminine manner, etc.

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Jobs and Choices

Trigger warning for discussion of sex work.

There was a thread earlier on Literotica talking about prostitution, why it was illegal, and what that meant. Someone said the problem was that some women didn’t have a choice but to sleep with people for food to feed their family.

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Evil Demon Seductress Trope

As defined on TVTropes.org,

“Tropes are devices and conventions that a writer can reasonably rely on as being present in the audience members’ minds and expectations. On the whole, tropes are not clichés. Above all, a trope is a convention. It can be a plot trick, a setup, a narrative structure, a character type, a linguistic idiom… you know it when you see it.”

Last year, Feminist Frequency did a video about The Evil Demon Seductress trope.

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Lost Girl

Lost Girl is a show I wish I had known about a year ago. Smart, interesting, and with a very talented cast, it’s an urban fantasy with humans and ‘fey’, which come in different varieties. Most are based in fairytales, legends and urban myths. The main cast includes a succubus, a human, a siren, and a werewolf. Other types of fey have included witch doctors, naga, etc.

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