Michelle and I would like to apologize to our regular (and new) readers. We have a backlog of blog posts waiting to go up but we haven’t been tending to them.
The reason isn’t a lack of passion for the subject matter, as that never dies, but more a matter of limited time and ability.
Truth be told, the little fiasco with my post on an experience in Guild Wars 2 being picked up by so many places and construed so bizarrely was draining. The innumerable hate mail and trolling from people who hadn’t even read the original piece was tedious and came at a time when we were already very over-taxed by real life concerns.
This doesn’t mark the end of the blog as such, as we feel we’ll always need some venue to express our less popular views, but for now we’ll be taking some time to sort out important matters in real life and get back to a semblance of normality before we likely continue blogging.
We’ve an aggressive publishing schedule to keep up with, and have been invited to be the keynote speakers at a local sex expo (which everyone in Newfoundland should show up to and support us) in two months in regards to our writing. We’re very excited for these things, but even that is a bit tense for people like us who enjoy the quiet life.
Trigger Warning for discussion of rape, rape fantasies, consensual non-consent, and BDSM. This is a 6 part series that will be updated weekly, focusing on rape culture, rape fantasies, and consent.
I joined a group on FetLife that was dedicated to rape fantasies. My goal was to explore how to reconcile having rape fantasies, and writing rape erotica with my belief that upholding a rape culture is negative to society.
I’m going to be looking at the types of responses, and what I think on them, in parts.
Part 1 – Infantalizing Women
Underneath a lot of the replies was skepticism of feminism, and of the term ‘Rape Culture’. They brought up many things that I agree with — that the idea of continual consent puts the onus on the man to ‘take care’ of his female partner in case she changes her mind and doesn’t inform him. That relying on body language for consent, even if she says yes, is tricky at best, and impossible at worst.
, rape culture
, rape fantasies
, societal problems
, Trigger warning
|Contrary to the Kotaku article, no one was accused of rape in game at any point, and that is not the point of this blog post. Any comment that suggests that someone was accused of rape, or attempted rape, will not be approved.
A curious event happened to me recently while roleplaying, and I’ll use direct quotes whenever appropriate. For those of you not familiar, I’ll explain things. Roleplaying, being the act of taking on the role of a character that’s not yourself, is traditionally done through tabletop games like Dungeons and Dragons. With the rise in popularity of massively multiplayer online roleplaying games (MMORPGs) it’s taken on a different turn in the online space with people playing out scenes as their avatars (their usually three-dimensional computer generated character) in an online world.
These days I play Guild Wars 2 (GW2), a recent and fairly popular MMORPG set in the fantasy world of Tyria. Read more
Just in time for Valentine’s Day! I forgot to tell everyone that I blogged about Cock Worship over on One Handed Writers:
When you think of it and boil it down, who wouldn’t want to feel like they’re so mind blowing it makes others weak in the knees and light in the head? Who wouldn’t want their body licked and sucked and treated so well, especially the part that can feel those sensations so much more acutely?
Who wouldn’t want every square inch of their sex explored by their loving, doting partner who just selflessly desires that you lay back and enjoy while they get off on giving praise to your sexy body? To feel their hands and mouth and tongue doting upon you, viscous saliva from deep in their throat slickening and lubricating your skin so that all you can feel is the exquisite dedication of your lover?
Read the rest of it here!
We also released Amy’s Innocence – Part 2. First time pain, second time pleasure!
You know, I almost wanted to give up. To stop blogging, to just focus on my writing. It’s hard to be blogging constantly, even on topics I love and want to talk about. You have to constantly be editing your material to make sure it’s readable, that it’s accurate, that it’s not going to be misconstrued. You want it to be clear and persuasive, and that doesn’t come natural to me.
I read a lot of things about how to make my blog better. To add ‘value’ to people’s lives, to give them something in return. Make sure to blog regularly, to add pictures, to not be too long, to not be too short. I feel like the more I worried about these things, the less interesting of person I became. The less interesting my blog became, and the less interested I was in writing. Read more
I blogged on One Handed Writers about Valentine’s Day, romance, and how I just can’t really write it ‘properly’.
I’ve never been one to celebrate Valentine’s. I never really saw the point, and from a feminist perspective, I always found it offensive in how it upheld so many stereotypes about women, and men, and how they interact in relationships.
I just don’t buy this idea that women are only interested in having sex with their partner in exchange for material goods, or that men have to take their partner to an expensive, crowded restaurant on one of the busiest days of the year. It’s a societal expectation, however, and people do like that.
Read the rest here.
As well, Amy’s Innocence is only .99 cents for this week if you want to explore a less traditional and more erotic coming of age romance. Who doesn’t love a pale little redhead losing her virginity to a strong military man, I ask you!
Fetlife is no longer allowed* hosting incest, zoophilia or scat.** It doesn’t matter if it’s consensual, and between two adults. It doesn’t matter if it’s fantasy. It doesn’t matter if they’re just idle desires that no one would act out on. On their announcement notice, they say:
From all the research we’ve done over the past two weeks, the Big 4 no-no’s are:
1. Anything Under 18.
2. Incest. (Even between consenting adults.)
We won’t even be able to allow people to fantasize about incest (between consensual adults), zoophilia, or scat… if we want to continue to be there for the community.
In a story that will sound familiar to erotica authors from last year around the same time, Fetlife’s payment processor cut off their service and threatened to fine them after finding pictures of cartoon jokes of the Simpson’s characters having sex, among other things.
For those of you unfamiliar with the Paypal Censorship issue of last winter, PayPal told Smashwords, All Romance eBooks, and other sites that PayPal would no longer serve them as a client if they continued to host erotica with rape, incest, bestiality or scat.**
, indie publishing
, john baku
, mark coker
, payment processor
Video games contribute to violence.
That’s my contention, though I can almost guarantee not in the way you think I mean it. Read more
A particularly insightful article by a blogger here got me to thinking quite a lot lately. More importantly it got me to writing and the subsequent post has ended up serving as my introduction in returning to blogging with my partner here.
I’ve had the good fortune of being a cis gendered male born into a wealthy western country. Even though I began life in one of the poorest corners of that nation, I count myself fortunate in many ways. Read more
, societal problems
I have been sick this week and unable to blog, but I found this post on strong female characters and interdependence that said a lot of the things I wanted to say in such an elegant manner.
What I look for in strong female characters when I evaluate their relationship to other people is interdependence. There is no shame in relying on other people sometimes, on needing their emotional, physical, or other support, just as there is no shame in offering that support to the people around you when they need your help. Look at Veronica Mars, for example; there are scenes where Logan helps her when she’s in a jam, but conversely, she’s also the one helping him when he’s falsely accused of murder and he’s trying to exonerate himself. The two characters enjoy an intimate connection and an interdependent one as they help each other navigate the world, and it’s a more more equitable balance than one where Logan always saves the day or Veronica never shows vulnerability.
Another thing I loved about Veronica Mars was that she had relationships of all different types. She had male and female friendships, she had a loving and supportive relationship with her father. She was a wonderful role model, and I’m still upset they cancelled the show.