Eat in Public

It took me a long time to be able to eat in front of others, and I still don’t like to do so in front of people I don’t know.

In 2004-2008 I gained a lot of weight. In 2008-2009 I lost 80lbs. It was a big deal, and I did it by cutting out all junk food for 9 months, and then slowly reintroducing things in smaller portion sizes, so instead of eating 3 donuts, I might have one. This is still pretty much how I eat, and I sometimes splurge, but I don’t do it often.

Yet every time I eat, I think people are either hating me because I’m thin and eating junk OR hating me because I’m thin and eating healthy. They have a filter where they feel that I think I’m better than them or that I have more control over my body than they have over theirs.

It’s the same for bigger women as well. If they eat junk, that’s why they’re fat. If they eat healthy, it’s not working and they should give up. Or they’re just eating healthy around others only to binge at home.

You can’t win, and this is why I believe that fat issues are as much integral to feminism as all issues that involve policing women’s bodies. There are issues with the idea of fat acceptance, but Health at Every Size is an important thing to keep in mind.

A healthier society will be a better society, but judging and shaming predominantly women for the shape of their body is not the way we should do it. Shame doesn’t help people to exercise regularly, or eat better. It doesn’t create for a strong, mentally healthy society that can regulate itself even in the face of consumerism and commercialism. It creates cycles that keep us trapped.

Women need to get over the entitlement they feel to comment on the healthiness of other women’s food. No one enjoys a nice meal with friends if all of their friends are jealous, judgement and/or bitter about what’s one someone else’s plate.

Please note: Femmedia will be taking a 2 week break while everyone is on holiday, spending time with family, and hopefully snuggling up with some amazing erotica and roleplay and not worrying about everyone commenting on your food. Happy Holidays, and have a fun and sexy New Years.


  1. Jumwa says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how free people feel to comment and openly judge the actions and choices of women when such a thing is so uncommon for men. I’ve never had anyone comment on what or how much I’ve eaten, except when as a thin man my father-in-law laughed and smiled, enjoying just how much of his barbecue he could convince me to keep eating. In case the tone of that last sentence didn’t get across, it was a positive judgement.

    • Anjasa says:

      It’s always disconcerting The other day at a work social I ordered a piece of dessert along with the other woman at the office and one of the men said “Yes, the two skinny girls order dessert.”

      I’m so used to it I didn’t even really think about it until after.

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