So I was listening to Tatu today, which some of you might remember from around 2001-2002, two faux lesbian girls who went out there, looked cute (one was femme, one was femme with a short hair cut), they kissed. They touched one another. They behaved like a couple.
This was all an act, both girls found through a talent search. It was all merchandized lesbianism. I got to thinking just how attracting the traditional male gaze helps and hinders the acceptance of certain groups.
Now, firstly I want to say that my opinions are complicated on this matter, and I haven’t made up my mind fully. It’s something I’m thinking on and considering from multiple angles. There are two groups that are fairly vocal about it – those that say that it’s not progress for males to go from discriminating against a group to objectifying them, and those that say that it doesn’t matter.
I fall in the middle.
I think that what Tatu did was harmful in some manners, feeding into the idea that women who proclaim they’re lesbians are strictly acting, and they really do like the penis. It’s not a niche viewpoint, unfortunately, and there’s plenty of movies (especially pornographic) that focus on a woman being a lesbian because of a traumatic past experience with a man (such as a rape, abuse, or just not finding the ‘right one’) so suddenly when they find a man that can pound her right, tada! She’s straight!
Imagine that.
However, I also think that having people identifying as lesbians in the media is a good thing in other subtle manners. Not everyone is going to be following the story of Tatu as closely as to know they aren’t actual lesbians and the band idea was derived by a man who thought that the lesbian school girl act would get a lot of fans. So all they saw was two girls kissing and touching one another.
Is it ideal? Hell no! I’d rather there be real lesbians in a band, making a huge name for themselves and getting media attention. I love it when minorities are able to really break past the barriers and represent themselves faithfully, but we live in a world of social constructs that are really difficult to break down. The easiest way, it seems, is to break through them via appealing to the male gaze.
For right, for wrong, for good or for evil, things that sexually appeal to men works, and until we can move past this barrier (a barrier that harms both men and women), I’m all for people exploiting it to force diversity into society.
There’s actually a phrase that some feminists use for women who do this – a patriarchal bargain.
A patriarchal bargain is a decision to accept gender rules that disadvantage women in exchange for whatever power one can wrest from the system. It is an individual strategy designed to manipulate the system to one’s best advantage, but one that leaves the system itself intact.
This term is often used for female celebrities that pose nude to gain a larger following, for pornstars, for strippers; however, this relies on everyone agreeing that these things disadvantage women.
Obviously it’s a complex and complicated issue dealing with and working within gender rules, but I believe that change can come along with women making patriarchal bargains, such as when a woman empowers herself through pornography (which some argue disadvantage women), and goes on to do amazing things for all women because of her new found money and/or power.
So what do you think? Are patriarchal bargains wrong or just ‘slut shaming’ under the guise of feminism? Do the ends justify the means when looking at things like ‘faux homosexuals’? Does it make things easier to stomach simply by virtue of having them in public view, or does it do more harm in supporting dangerous stereotypes?
The notion of the patriarchal bargain–at least as it’s tossed around on the internet–seems to be another one of those things that, if you take it as a stance, it extends as a criticism of the basis of our very society.
Reminds me of those people who argue against prostitution by saying that it’s exploitation of women for someone elses pleasure and profit. Similarly, that’d be an indictment of all capitalism.
Too right.
Plus I have to wonder just what counts as disadvantaging all women – there’s a lot of discussion and debate. Some believe that a housewife disadvantages all women, after all, though I’ve only heard the term used in regards to women who use their bodies or their looks to get ahead.
Slightly off topic, but this post reminded me of a conversation I had with my junior high daughter recently. I was dead set against her reading the ‘Twilight’ series because of it’s markedly anti-feminist undertones. I only caved on the promise that she would watch all 7 seasons of ‘Buffy’ afterwards as a kind of palate cleanser. Smart girl that she is, she loved ‘Buffy’ and hated ‘Twilight.’ I asked her what she thought of the Willow/Tara story arc and she thought it was great. “No thoughts on their relationship” I asked. “No, they were a great couple” she answered. Whether it’s real or made up, a gay relationship makes everyone more accepting and tolerant. Even TATU.
One of the crass realities of our existence is that everything–even that sacred thing we call ‘culture’–boils down to commercialism. Profit making. I don’t say that because I like it, it’s just one of those unfortunate realities.
I remember in a discussion once in a history class, the topic of culture was brought up and someone argued for what they called “genuine culture” as opposed to commercial pursuits for profit. Ultimately an example came up that stuck with me. The notion of kilts as a point of Scottish cultural heritage. As it turned out, (or so I recall) kilts were a relatively recent development in the grand scheme of things, and were attributable originally to an English lord trying to make some money at a clan fair under his authority.
Back around to the point at hand: does something being done for profit make it less real? Little in our world around us is done for the sheer sake of it, and typically even those that are, never see cultural significance unless it does have some aspect of profitability.
If commercializing out progressive attitudes like acceptance of an individuals sexuality is what it takes, then I guess I’ll choose my battles elsewhere and just accept it.
Too true. It also ties into the fact that pop stars aren’t musicians any more, they’re performers. They’re a marketing item.
I think one of the most important things about devouring media is reflecting on it afterwards, so teaching your daughter to think about these things is an excellent starting off point for her.
Also, holy crap did I hate Willow/Kennedy. I’m so into Willow/Tara that Kennedy just made me feel really uncomfortable with how quick Willow went from ‘I’m going to destroy the world’ to ‘This is my new girlfriend!’
[...] want to continue on from lesbians and the male gaze into the territory of disability. Disability, and disability in a sexualized [...]
This post made me think of two shows in comparison. First, when “L Word” launched there was a lot of discussion about the representation of lesbian women. Ilene Chaiken got a lot of jeers from some, but the show took off in mainstream and everyone loved Shane.
Then what happened with “The Real L Word” and their answer to beautiful, power lesbians of “L Word”? They wanted the world to be exposed to the “true” lesbians and not the fake ones. That lasted all of one season.
I guess it goes to prove that the fantasy fakes beat out in the end. To me it’s sad, the whole reality television is popular in mainstream ie, “Snooky” but is the opposite in the more diverse worlds. Truly sad.
Fantasy tends to win out, in all things. People just simply aren’t as interested in normal, average every day people as they are obsessed with the beautiful, the rich, the famous, the spoiled. The over the top. Most people turn to media for an escape from reality.
Of course that isn’t to say people don’t want reality as well, but it usually has to be presented in a much more interesting way and there almost always needs to be some pretty intense drama to keep people reading or watching.
So maybe this is just another outlet of that, an unavoidable consequence of media and consumer demand.
“I think that what Tatu did was harmful in some manners, feeding into the idea that women who proclaim they’re lesbians are strictly acting, and they really do like the penis. It’s not a niche viewpoint, unfortunately, and there’s plenty of movies (especially pornographic) that focus on a woman being a lesbian because of a traumatic past experience with a man (such as a rape, abuse, or just not finding the ‘right one’) so suddenly when they find a man that can pound her right, tada! She’s straight!”
i quoted the paragraph in full because it brings to mind something I’ve been thinking about for sometime, especially when it comes to the rabid misogyny of certain sectors of society: homosexuality as a rejection of the opposite sex whatever “sex” we are talking about at the moment. Mainly those that equate femininity with weakness seem to try to try to banish the female-self to the fringe or even none existence, which then brings me to think that they are practicing their own form of homosexuality, that is love or attraction to their same sex and their same sex values, images and ideas. After all if you push the other side out (and yes I understand that human sexuality is far more complex than just male/female) you’re basically left standing in front of a mirror and like Narcissus infatuated with yourself.
Yet this an an attitude I have never found in anyone who is gay or lesbian, but common among those who attack them as well as those who attack women and feminism in general.
Your thoughts?
[...] Tweet of the Day: Faking Lesbianism in Pop Culture and Patriarchal Bargains [...]
I like your nuanced take on this. I was 12 or 13 when this song and video came out, and at the time I absolutely did not have the cultural tools to explain why (or even admit openly that) I liked it. I hesitate to condemn “All The Things She Said” as nothing more than regressive faux-lesbianism played out for the male gaze, because it was one of the first pieces of pop culture that exposed me to the sight of two cute girls making out (I was very sheltered at that age), and even though I wouldn’t really come out to myself for several more years, I still think of this video fondly as a key stage in discovering my own sexuality.
[...] what women do when they decide to work in the sex industry – they’re told they’re making a patriarchal bargain. A patriarchal bargain is when a woman decides to work within the patriarchy in order to exploit it [...]